Wow. Y’all… I’m so sorry that I haven’t posted in a while, but this semester has been a WHIRLWIND. It’s definitely a fact that the P2 year is the hardest in pharmacy school.
I have been running around like a chicken with its head cut off. I haven’t had a chance to take in a solid breath. But here I am… on Fall Break… here to talk about the biggest issue in most of our lives; anxiety and stress.
I’ve always been a perfectionist. I’ve always needed to make all A’s and the Dean’s List. Over the years, this has proven to be bittersweet. This mentality forced me to work my butt off in high school, and because of it, I was 10th in my class. However, I’m always so stressed and so moody when school is in session. This is not the way to live. I’ve been allowing school to be the only important thing in my life over the years. I’ve been neglecting my friends and family, and for that, thank you for being so patient with me. I make myself so stressed and don’t give myself time to relax because that means neglecting my studying… risking my A. This is by far the most difficult thing for me. I feel guilty if I just go to the grocery store with my parents or anything like that.
In my case, this perfectionism is a part of my anxiety. It’s part of my life. Being diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), I know that it isn’t going to be easy to get rid of this perfectionism, but I’m trying.
However, perfectionism isn’t the only way that anxiety affects me. There’s also a social aspect to my anxiety. I always get anxious that people don’t really like me and that I’m alone, but I have a hard time going out and doing fun things because I get anxious in social situations. I’m constantly pushing myself into social situations to combat this. The good thing is that if I promise someone that I’m going to go somewhere, I CAN’T cancel. I get even more anxious to cancel plans, so this is a good way to force myself to go out and do things. I’m slowly working on being okay with going out and doing something fun every weekend even though I have to study.
Anyways… here we are. It’s Fall Break, and I’m still stressed. That’s pharmacy school for you… really that’s college in general. My anxiety pushes me to be the best I can be, but at what cost? My sanity? My friendships?
So here’s to the rest of the semester and trying to relax a little when I can. Good luck to everyone else in their endeavors! You got this!